Well, I thought I was all ready to sub the partial of my SuperRomance Memorial Day Challenge entry.
Then I made the mistake of posting the synopsis to my critique partners.
Oops! They pointed out everything that was wrong with it. The places where my characterisation didn’t ring true. The plot devices. The over-reliance on external stuff at the expense of internal. All the usual mistakes I though I’d fixed with this story.
*sigh*
They’re right of course, quite right, damned right. They did their job as CPs well. So the partial I thought was ready to sub will have to go on hold while I rethink some of the points they brought up. Maybe it can be my So You Think You Can Write entry this year.
I want to back to an old story I abandoned after six chapters, to rework it as my Mills and Boon New Voices entry. It started off as the first story in my Haven Bay series, but after six chapters it was clear the goal-less characters and lack of real conflict made it a very pretty story that was going nowhere. So I put it to one side and started on Cady and Lock’s story instead. That had more genuine conflict, but was rejected for goal-less characters (again!). I’ve started on a rewritten Cady and Lock, with the same backstory and core inner relationship blocks, but a totally different beginning. With real goals for both characters. Problem is, the rules won’t allow me to enter this in New Voices.
So back to Meg and Nick’s story. I have some ideas about their conflict. Not quite so much about their goals! But it will come together. Hopefully in time for New Voices! Entries start next week, but 10 October is the deadline for entries.
Leaving it late and cutting it fine, but I wanted to get Kate and Jack’s story subbed first. Which I’m not. And now I have some awful virus or something that’s giving me terrible headaches and tummy pain. I can’t think straight about anything. I’m amazed I’ve managed to string this many words together!
LOL, given the hash I’ve made of my stories when I thought I WAS thinking straight, maybe this is just the state of mind I should try writing in…
So, are you entering New Voices this year?
September 8, 2011 at 9:44 pm
Hi Autumn,
It’s definitely been a roller coaster ride of a year.
I have problems with lack of conflict and goalless characters too! Glad I’m not the only one.
I think I am submitting to New Voices. I talked myself out of it last year b/c I was doing the Medical Fast Track. Now that full (fingers crossed) has been sent off to Richmond. So I’m hoping entering New Voices will ease the pain of waiting. Or make it worse? Who knows.
I kind of want to submit something different though. Different line, slightly different voice. An idea that popped in my head. No real plot, but characters I love. So I’m having a hard time talking myself into it again!
Hope you feel better soon and best wishes for all your writing, New Voices or not
Jill
September 9, 2011 at 8:05 am
Jill, fingers crossed for your Medical! NV will be just the distraction you need! And I bet those characters are nagging you to write their story…
September 9, 2011 at 2:13 am
Oh, looking forward to reading your New Voices entry Autumn!
I hope you’re not feeling too discouraged. Conflict is so, so hard to get right, you are definitely not alone! (I’m right there beside you!
).
With the goalless characters, I’ve found what’s helped me is giving my characters a really good reason to be where they are when they meet in the first chapter. No coincidences, the hero is there for a good reason (not necessarily related to the heroine) and so is the heroine. Sometimes you’ve got to really think about what that reason is, but their individual opening scene goals should then feed into the greater story goal.
Now, whether that is a sensible way to think of it I’m not sure, but it’s helped me
September 9, 2011 at 2:17 am
Oh, and forgot to add – it needs to be an *active* reason. Not a passive one
I’ve found it’s much stronger if the character is where they are due to their own choice. For example, in my New Voices chapter, my heroine was originally speed dating as her sister bought her a voucher. Later, I changed this so my heroine was there because she had a very specific plan that involved attending speed dating. It was her decision to be ther = much stronger opening. Plus, it triggered all sorts of light bulb moments for me and changed the rest of the book, too.
September 9, 2011 at 8:31 am
That’s such good advice, Leah! Active characters interest and excite readers. passive characters, not so much.
My rejected stories all had the problem of things happening to my characters, not my characters making things happen. What I like about my rewritten Cady and Lock is the changed GMC- now Cady now wants something very important from Lock and decides to seek him out. It’s her making things happen, not circumstances or chance.
Meg and Nick right now is too much coincidence based. And not enough conflict. My usual way of dealing with this is to force some contrived external conflict on them. Don’t want to do it that way this time! I have a good idea of their internal conflicts so I want whatever is going on externally to flow from this. Will read what I have already and see what seems to flow naturally out of who they are.
I can’t wait to read your first book! The release date must be very soon- next week?
September 9, 2011 at 1:09 pm
Don’t you hate it when CP’s point out the problems and you realize they’re RIGHT? For some reason we just can’t see the obvious until someone points it out. One of the first comments I received from an editor that read my 1st chapter was to make sure the plot was character driven. It’s hard to get all the pieces to work together.
I’m still debating the New Voices contest. But I actually do have a first chapter that could work so I guess it depends on if I can overcome my fear.
September 10, 2011 at 7:06 pm
LOL, yes! CPs who do their job rather than say “Oh, that’s fab” are sooooo annoying! But they saved me subbing something that may well have been destined for another R sent in as it was. Who knows, it might, just might, get a full request if I go back and think it through again and feel it through again before I sub.
If you have a chapter you can enter, please do give it a go. I’d love to read it!
September 9, 2011 at 4:07 pm
Hi Autumn
Don’t be discouraged. Its far better to sort out the problems before you sub. I don’t know why its so hard to stop yourself from making the same mistakes but it is! The reason for my Rs has always been the same – not enough conflict to sustain the tension – I am just HOPING my current sub has tackled that.
Was also thinking if your Cady and Lock story is a complete rewrite can’t you still use it for NV?
I really want to enter NV but not sure I can pull something good enough together in time.
Hope you are feeling better!
Nina xx
September 10, 2011 at 7:10 pm
Nina, fingers crossed for you that the chapter comes together! Remember, even though the contest opens next week, we have until 10 October to enter. Another four weeks!
I can’t enter Cady and Lock, even though it’s rewritten. I asked on the Facebook page and the official M&B person said “No”. But I have another story in the same series that could work, has nevre been submitted, but also needs rewriting! We’ll see if I can pull it off.
Good luck with your chapter and for us both in getting the conflict right this time!
September 10, 2011 at 8:41 pm
I’ve reworked my chapter for NV four times now. Each time the weakness came down to a pretty slight internal conflict and a dependence on a contrived external conflict to push them forward.
Here’s hoping I have it right this time!