The Universe is teaching me to be satisfied with what I have and to stop always asking for more, resenting what I don’t yet have.
Examples- I found a one p coin on the street, and asked for more. Next day, I found a five p coin. My reaction was “Great, but could it be a five pound note next time? Or even a tenner?” Within half an hour, I found more money on the street. Not a note, another five p coin! I did get at the time that maybe that was a lesson. Say thank you for what I was freely given, and stop grasping from more. Be satisfied and happy with what I have.
Obviously I didn’t quite get that lesson. This morning I hopped on the scales. The number was about six pounds more than I’d like, but that’s not so bad. It wasn’t over my this-far-and-no-further weight limit. I’ve only put on a pound since breaking my foot, which is actually marvellous, as my mobility has been so badly reduced, and walking was a huge part of my weight loss. But it wasn’t enough for me. I wanted to be less. So I rebalanced the scales and got on again. One pound heavier!
So I had another lesson from the Universe in accepting what I was being given. Now I need to apply that to the Day Job situation. Yes, I’m not working the hours I want, the hours I signed up to work. Instead of doing two days a week, I’ll need to do three, to meet the needs of my department.
But that’s okay. Instead of resenting that and making myself unhappy because I want more time for myself, I can embrace the gift in it.
The combination of Day Job and writing will give the perfect mix of outside stimulation, safety net of cash flow, yet still with ample time to create and work on my own projects. From this week, I’m off the full time work I had to go back to for a while. I have more time for me, for my creative play/ work. And the extra money will be a nice bonus. I have no problems spending the additional cash that will bring me!
So I accept and embrace the gifts the Universe gives me, with thanks.
Not in a soggy cereal this-is-all-there-is-so-I-have-to-pretend-I’m-okay-with-it way. In a real, taking on all there is for me in my life as it is now. Not wasting time in resentment and wishing things were different, but actively using the gifts that are there right now.
That’s a good thing. It doesn’t mean I don’t work to change things or stop setting goals. It means really and truly being with what is right now, seeing the good in it, and making what I can from the current situation.
That’s a stronger place to come from. It’s a more centred and energetic place to come from. It’s a happier place to come from.
This is the lesson I need to learn right now.
So I accept going to my mother in law’s all day today, even though I’ve been longing for a day off to write.
I accept working a day more a week that I prefer at the Day Job.
I accept that our little car has broken down, the very next day after passing its MOT check.
I accept that my husband is unable to find paid work.
I accept that we are living in England for the time being.
I accept that I’m not yet ready to make an income from writing or other creative work.
I accept that my blog is far less read than I’d like.
I accept that I have a broken foot and can’t walk like I usually do.
I accept that my weight is five or six pounds over my chosen ideal weight.
I don’t just accept these things. I give thanks for them. I embrace them. I find the gift in them. Pollyanna’s Glad Game. I’ve never known why people use Pollyanna as a criticism!
The reason we stay in the UK is for my mother-in-law. I chose to stay here, so we could help her. So she can be toxic and grudge-bearing, she can also be generous and she does appreciate the visits even if she denies any need for support.
I do enjoy the Day Job. The skills I develop there are useful for me in my creative work. Project management. Dealing with set-backs. Prioritising. Juggling different projects. Following things through to completion. Meeting different people and hearing their stories.
No-one was hurt when the car broke down. It didn’t break down somewhere totally inconvenient. The mother in law has loaned us her car. We can know our car is getting to the stage where it’s developing problems so we can sell it now while it still has some value. We need to have car to get to the mother in law if she has a problem, but we can find another car. Added today (I wrote this yesterday): And we did. A gorgeous very different car we would never have looked at otherwise, a car I know I will love, and we got it at a good price. Plus, my clever husband worked his butt off and fixed our old car, so we can sell it while it works well with a full year’s MOT, instead of waiting for something else to go wrong with it.
My unemployed husband has time to do all the housework, freeing me from that. He’s enjoying the opportunity to learn languages in the time he has spare. He’s free to support his mother, so I can be less involved there.
I love so much about England, that I will miss when we do eventually go home to Australia. The green. The history. The unexpected magical things one can see it one looks for them. Our adorable little house and garden. And now, my lovingly hand made writing shed. There’s a lot of good things about living here.
I don’t have the pressure of needing to make money from creative work, so I can develop, learn, play, and explore options. This is a lovely low stress place situation.
My blog is something I love doing anyway, and I have a small group of wonderful readers, all interesting people, most with fabulous blogs of their own that are a delight to read.
I needed to learn to slow down. Breaking my foot has given me far more understanding of what it’s like for my husband, living with a chronic disabling condition. I’m seeing a lot more little things because I’m not whizzing past intent on getting somewhere else.
I can lose more weight if I want. Maybe I goal weight is actually too low for me. It’s just a weight I had in my head my whole adult life as an ideal weight, but that doesn’t mean it’s right for me. When I was that weight, several people told me I’d got too thin. Maybe the weight I am now, six pounds heavier, is the weight my body wants.
These are some of the gifts in the things I’ve been complaining about lately. I’m discovering this is the key to living a happy life.
How about you?