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You can do hard things


Photo by Andrew Morrell Photography

Loving this post by Anna Elliot on Writer Unboxed- “Lessons Learned from Wrangling with the Impossible Book“.

It’s a fabulous post. All of it. But this section particularly resonated with me-

I can do hard things. I read about this idea somewhere and decided awhile back that I was going to make it my personal mantra: I can do hard things. It’s so simple–and yet it’s just an invaluable mindset to be able to place yourself into when faced with a challenge. And let me tell you, I have seldom needed it more than when wrestling with this book! Every book reaches a point where it would be so much easier to give up on it, scrap the whole idea and give in to the siren call of a shiny new idea that promises that, No, really, I will be an easy book to write. Don’t do it! Don’t give up those characters of yours. They’re counting on you to tell their story. And you can do it–because you can do hard things.

Likewise, this is also invaluable when faced with that other inevitable aspect of book-wrangling: editing. Cutting. Killing your darlings. One of the most painful realizations you can come to as an author is that a piece of writing–a sentence, a scene, a whole series of chapters–is an absolutely brilliant piece of writing, something you’re just repulsively proud of . . . and yet it has no place in your story. It’s hard to be brave enough to scrap writing that you love. It’s hard even to scrap writing that you know deep down just isn’t working and face the terror of having to start afresh. But you can do hard things.

Isn’t that the most awesome writing mantra? Fiction writing is often tough, seemingly impossible tough. But if you love your characters, keep going. The only way out is through.

You can do hard things. You can do what you need to do to finish this story. And the next one. And the one after that. Anything in your life you really want.

No matter how hard it is.


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The heart of a romance synopsis – emotional conflict

Another cross post with the Sassies blog!

Photo by Wrote

Several of the Sisters are struggling with writing synopses right now. So we had a discussion – what should go in, what should stay out, what’s it all about anyway?

Very timely for me as I’m entering the Harlequin Romance Fast-Track, with a total rewrite of a novella I wrote last year, beefing it up into a longer story. The novella is 22,000 words, but it doesn’t work at that length at all. It needs to be simplified right down into a 10K novella, or I need to go deeper into the potential issues and make it 50K.

So, for now, I’m going for the 50K version for the Fast Track. Sometime, I also want to do the shorter version. Not much of a risk of self-plagiarism (which only matter if I sell both of them!). Digging into the conflict to lengthen the story has completely changed their issues, so the characters in each version will be different anyway. I actually won’t use much of the original story. It was a jumping off point to get me going, but it’s morphed into a whole new story.

Anyway, I need a first chapter and synopsis, pdq. I thought I had a handle on the chapter, but didn’t have a clue about the synopsis as I have no idea “what happens”. I thought I knew whaT my character’s conflicts and issues were, and that was it.

Well, that seemed like a good place to start.

Except I was wrong about that. I actually knew nothing at all. Only the characters’ names and what they did for a living and a bit of their history. I even had that wrong!

I got stuck about halfway through in my first chapter. It was fine, right up to the point where they met. In other words, not very far in at all!

The characters’ reactions to each other just weren’t ringing true for me. I didn’t know why, but it felt forced. I was making them do what I wanted, but they were puppets, stiff and unnatural. Now I’m pretty sure old lovers meeting again after a long separation would act stiff and unnatural, but you know what I mean.

Things weren’t flowing. It just didn’t feel right.

I really thought I knew what these guys history was and how they would react to each other when they saw each other again. Yet it wasn’t working. So I decided to start the synopsis instead. Maybe if I knew what was supposed to be going on between them, I’d know how to fix this chapter. Maybe I’d even stop procrastinating.

I should know by now, when I procrastinate, when I have to force myself to write, I’ve gone wrong somewhere. So looking at the synopsis made sense.But I had no idea how to approach the synopsis. I really do write the worst synopses in the world.

I know you think you do, but I’m willing to bet you don’t. Mine will be worse, for sure!

Jackie gave some good advice-
I would think about the emotional arc of the characters, not so much what happens. Their developing feelings, why they feel they can’t be together,then how those feelings change.

That felt so right.

I don’t need to know “what happens” in the conventional sense. I need to show how they feel at the beginning. What’s drawing them together. What’s keeping them apart. What triggers change in each of them until they finally have grown emotionally enough to reach their HEA.

I started writing the synopsis. Not the way normally do, a list of what happens. I started with the heroine, and what her feelings were about the hero at the start. I added why she has to see the hero again, waht forces them together. Then I wrote the hero’s feelings.

Sounds good.

Except it wasn’t! I had it all wrong. And that was why my chapter was stuck at 2000 words.

Suddenly, on the commute yesterday, I started writing a whole lot of what-ifs in my synopsis. What if their past hadn’t happened the way I thought it had at all? What if she wasn’t angry with him for betraying her? What if she’d chosen to go, thinking she was protecting him? What if the issues between them were very very different to what I thought? I wrote some ideas, but worried I was overcomplicating, adding more to the mix instead of digging deeper.

Then in my morning pages today, things really got interesting.

A what-if for myself. What if instead of over complicating, what I’m doing is brainstorming? Throwing lots of ideas into the pot so I can choose which ones work and fit these characters?

Ideas started popping. The characters’ pasts and their core conflicts shifted. The story started to be about something quite different. Yes, the theme is still finding home, and knowing we deserve the highest love, but the way these characters get there is very very different. The external conflict seems lighter, less anger, less bickering. But the internal stuff goes waaaaay deeper. The emotional wounds these characters need to heal are painful and verey very central to who they think they are.

Then I logged onto a fabulous discussion, all about synopsis writing. It wasn’t about my synopsis, it was about Abbi’s. But wow, it got me thinking some more about the essential nature of the core emotional conflict in romance. I’ve edited out some of the comments that were highlights for me.

Abbi- Question: would the worst woman for my hero be the one who sees beyond the facade or the one who will make him stay when he doesn’t plan on it, or both?

Jackie- One thing I would ask is why does the hero feel he can’t be himself? And who is he underneath? So yes, re the internal conflict, the worst woman for him would be one who sees beyond the façade. But then you have to think about what that façade is hiding and why it would be so very awful for him if someone saw who he really was.

Robyn- I’m playing with the same concept but in a different way. My H thought he’d had his facade accepted for a long time,
and yet his partner always knew it was a front. Stripping it away completely will be necessary if he wants to wants to get her back.

Abbi- I always thought the worst person he/she could meet was the one who per se made them fall in love or made them stay because of love. That’s just a cover to protect their inner conflict isn’t it?

Robyn- I think it depends on who your character is and what they want. If they don’t want to go then someone making them stay won’t be a worry. And if they want to fall in love then the issue might be more who they’re falling in love with rather than the act of falling.

I’ve got my hero thinking he’ll never love anyone again then realising he cares for the heroine more than he thought, but only after she has gone. As it goes on he understands that he’s in love with her, always has been… but getting her to fall for him after years of lies is going to turn him inside out. Mine’s rarely textbook conflict so I probably give unusual answers to
conflict questions.

LOL, Robyn, no, just fabulous thought provoking ones!

Jackie- I think you also have to think about why being in love is bad. I know for one of my heroes, his deep conflict was that he didn’t want to love because being in love meant a loss of control. And losing control meant he was just like his father.

Robyn- I think I do everyone wanting to be in love, but the cost being higher than they ever imagined it would be.

Jackie- Yeah, I think not wanting to be in love does work well for a strong alpha. The high cost of love is very sexy too may I add.

Maisey- I think it’s…not necessarily about the other being the worst for them, but they’re the one that will force change.

In Robyn’s case, her hero found the woman who forces him to confront his fear of loving, really.

Robyn- I like that. I always struggle with that worst person idea, but someone who forces change I can relate to.

Maisey- I figure that’s what really forces the black moment. One person is ready to lay their issues down and change, the other hits a wall and can’t break through it yet. But the romance is that journey to change and…healing.

Maisey again- I feel like there’s often three layers to conflict and character. What they show the world they’re doing, what they think they’re doing and why they think they’re doing it, and the real reason they’re doing it.

I love all this. It’s why being part of a writing group all doing romance is so good.It keeps me focused. It reminds me what romance is all about and why we love it so much.

It’s all about emotional change. It’s about people becoming the best they can be, the most real and true to themselves and authentic they can be. It’s all about the character being challenged by the one person who sees through their front, to relate at the level of who they really are. About the character having to grow and change, become more of who they are and less of who they pretend to be. About the deepest healing and the deepest love being hard, but possible.

Romance affirms what we want to believe is true.

For my story, things shifted a lot in the last two days of playing with what-ifs. Yet I can see I need to take it another level deeper again it I’m to get to the core of what romance can be. What I have is still too superficial. I need to go even deeper, to the whys, to the level of essence. To Maisey’s third layer. I’ve got it for the heroine, but not yet for the hero.

More questions to ask my characters. Do they want to be in love? Is falling in love the worst thing that could
happen to them, no matter who it’s with? Do they want to be in love, but this person is the worst person for them? Do they not want to be in love at all, and especially with this person? Or like Robyn’s characters, do they want to be in love but the price is far higher than they ever expected to pay?

The answers will tell me a lot.

I also need to really think about the questions of the character’s facade and their inner reality. Michael Hauge is great for this. I made a chart last year based on his concept of identity to essence and the lectures he gave at RWA last year. I wasn’t lucky enough to go, but recordings of all the talks are for sale. It’s the conference you have when you can’t afford to fly to the States and pay the conference fees- but without the fun and the alcohol and the crazy shoes.

Anyway, I need to do the chart for my characters and see what comes out.

Then, I’ll know enough to write my synopsis. And maybe I’ll even be able to finish the chapter!


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Why is this hero perfect for this heroine?


Photo by h.koppdelaney

I know I should be writing. I have been, promise!

It’s 100% pure dreck, but at least I finally got my hero and heroine on the page together. I think I’m going to have some cutting to do so that happens sooner. Always the same issue- too much scene setting and internal monologue before I cut to the real stuff.

Anyway, I’m doing a bit of blog surfing in a ten minute break. And I’m thinking about my character and what her emotional growth will be through the story.

I tend to have an issue here. I want my characters to be likeable, so I make them too nice to start with. I don’t give them enough room to grow.

Now, sometimes being overly nice and agreeable is a character flaw in itself and that character’s arc might be to start developing some no-power and stop letting everyone walk all over them. Or it could be that I suck at writing characters who actually have realistic emotions and characters!

I realised early on than in first draft my hero forgives the heroine far too soon. He’s not angry enough. He can quite rightfully be pissed off with the way she’s behaved. That will be tricky for me to handle, but I can see it’s needed.

What I hadn’t realised was that she also forgives him far too soon.

She starts off angry and upset and determined not to get close and them wham halfway through the story it’s like one slow dance later and she’s melting in his arms, all is forgiven? Come on! Time for me to get real here. There needs to be a bit of a growth process here. The one-step-forward-two-steps-back dance of can-I-trust-him-or-can’t-I, has he really changed?

I realised something big last night. She’s not just angry with him over what he did to her when they dated in their teens. She’s taken that hurt and attached a whole lot of other stuff to it, stuff other people did to her that she’s kidded herself she’s totally okay with. In her mine, he’s the only person who’s hurt her, the only person who’s done something so bad it’s unforgivable. Because he’s wearing her anger over EVERYTHING that’s gone wrong in her life. It makes no sense why she’s as angry with him as she is, why she didn’t just demand he explained it then and there, back at age seventeen when it happened. It also makes perfect sense looked at another way.

Not only is her sudden jump from anger to forgiveness in the first draft not the least bit believable, she’s also being too nice. She needs to be a lot more angry. A lot more hurt and resentful. A lot less likely to forgive. It’s going to take far more than one slow dance to get over this one!

Lightbulb moment- characters don’t have to be ”nice”. Their feelings don’t have to be the least bit rational. They just have to be understandable.

I read a good little free e-book on Crafting Unforgettable Characters last night, by K M Weiland. She said a lot that resonated with me.

When we write characters who are fighting both their circumstances and their own natures, we create characters who are instantly real.

 That’s external and internal conflict explained in a single sentence!

Then today during my ten minute break that seems to have stretched just the teensiest bit, I read a post on Natalie Hartford’s blog, quoting a line from This Means War.

Don’t choose the best guy, choose the guy that brings out the best in you!

That’s exactly why Morgan is the only man for Tash. He may be the man she sees as her worst enemy, the man she loves to hate. But he’s also the only man who will see past her prickly defences and help her change, help her heal her past, help her find the courage to love. He’s the only man who sees the truth of who she is.

And now, that brings me back to what I already knew and had forgotten, Michael Hauge’s advice on writing romance. The reason the characters should be together is because only with each other can they be all they can be. Only with this man, this woman, will they be the best self possible. He talks about the other character being the only one who can see through the self-protective mask the hero or heroine wears, to see the real person within. They may clash on the superficial level, but at the deeper level they, and only they, connect. I bought the recording of his lecture at the RWA Conference last year, which is amazing. He also has this article among many others on his website that are all worth reading- Writing Romantic Comedies.

This quote always makes me get all teary-

In movies, as in real life, both the joy and terror of intimacy grow out of our exposure to those we love. To be accepted for who we are is magical. But once we allow ourselves to be seen in this way, all the dark parts of our personalities – our weaknesses, desires, fears and shortcomings – are brought into the open. The possibility that someone might peer beneath our carefully constructed persona and see who we truly are becomes terrifying. So the dance of pursuit and retreat continues endlessly.

Conscious or not, the lies in romantic comedies are always designed to protect the hero’s image. Better to lie to the person he loves than to expose the unworthy person he believes himself to be.

But of course, the hero’s deception can never work, because it is only by standing up for who he truly is that the hero can achieve real fulfillment and self worth, and connect with the love of his life. The romance character is TRULY the hero’s destiny; she’s the reward for finding the courage to grow and change.

Romantic comedies concern the continual battle between comfort and longing, between fear and desire. We’re all terrified of intimacy, pain and loss, so we all shut down emotionally in one way or another. But the beauty and power of a romantic comedy is that for two hours in the dark we can identify with a hero facing the same eternal struggle. And in the movie theater, we will always grow, and we will always win.

I hope and pray I can bring that level of emotional realness to my stories. Tash isn’t just lying to Morgan about how she feels and how her past has affected her, she’s lying to herself. I hope I can write well enough to do her justice.

And now I better go actually do some more writing instead of talking about it! Back to work tomorrow and I have nowhere near as much written as I hoped to.

Just wondering- what is it that makes your characters perfect for each other in your WiP?

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