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Tag Archives: time to write


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Quitting the Day Job to write, again. This time I mean it!

remains of an derelict old house

So, I took the day off yesterday. Did a lot of  things. What I didn’t do was write. So today, I should.

But my Muse still isn’t happy.  She’s refusing to play. She’s not just having a sulk for the sake of it. She wants more. She’s trying to tell me that something is wrong in my life.

When I ask her, she says “You promised I wouldn’t have to go to work in the cold this winter.” She’s quite right to get angry with me over that one. I did, too, back in April when I made plans to quit the Day Job. That all changed.

The Muse has been sulking since I went to work on Thursday. It was cold on the station. It was cold on the train. It was cold on the bus. The only place it wasn’t cold was the  stuffy and over-heated office. But no-one there is happy. I didn’t get a minute to think a thought of my own all day.

I’m not sure what my answer to the Muse should be. To apologise? Tell her I hoped we’d be able to do that but I got it wrong? Tell her maybe next year?

She’s not buying it. Any of it. She wants me to resign from the Day Job. Now! NOW! With a foot stamp and a pushed out lower lip and that mutinous expression that promises a full blown tantrum and no writing, ever.

I don’t know how to deal with this.

I didn’t expect I’d be back again so soon to the question of whether I should quit my Day Job.

I will eventually, it’s just a matter of when. Earlier this year I was ready to leave, commit to writing full-time for as long as I could afford it. I had a leave date set of mid- September. Then my manager offered me half-time work. The plan changed. The work-life balance should have been ideal.  I could write full-time, go to the Day Job two days a week,  instead of the other way around.

Sounds great in theory, and for about five weeks, it was. I loved it! I became so much more productive. My energy levels and happiness soared. I could stay doing that until we’re ready to move to Australia. We’d be in such a strong financial position. I could have it all. The perfect solution.

Then it went wrong.

A colleague left, and we all need to work extra hours to cover. They can’t find anyone to replace her. My manager has changed, and the new guy is a no-stopping-him change agent with a touch of ADHD. Time to write is becoming harder and harder to create. I’m tired. I’m sad. My Muse won’t write, she just pouts and says “Not fair, you lied to me.”

My “perfect solution” has disappeared and won’t come back.

I want to quit now too, not just my Muse. It’s the inner parent telling me to stay. Telling me not to let my colleagues down, when things are already so tough there. Telling me I’m crazy to throw away such a good, well paid job. Telling me we need the money. Telling me resigning is a financially ridiculous decision.

It’s correct on all counts.

The thing my inner parent doesn’t take into account is how much of my unpaid personal time the Day Job eats up. Not just the commute time, but needing to prepare food to take to work with me, and needing to have work clothes clean and ready to wear, and most of all use of prime real estate in my brain. I spend way too much time chewing over work problems, time that could be used to chew over writing problems instead!

Of course, if I do resign, the terror will kick in. The terror of having no income. The knowledge that living off our savings means the only house I can afford in Australia will be the one in the photo. The pressure to earn money from writing, ASAP, which might push me to damage my career by putting stuff out there before it’s ready.

But what’s happening in my workplace isn’t what I signed up for when I agreed to stay on part-time instead of resigning.

The decision I have to make is – which one of those options can I live with best? Which one will let me write the most and work towards my goals the most? Which one is sustainable and not soul-destroying? Which is the real suicide?

Well, I know the answer.

My question isn’t should I resign? That’s a given. It’s when should I resign? Can I hang in there another few months to let things stabilise in the workplace and give them more chance to find a replacement, or do I need to leave ASAP?

I’m inclined to resign now, today, and give them until January 15th (or whatever that middle Monday in January is) or until they fill my position, whichever  comes sooner.

That’s scary. But it feels the best decision. I hope my Muse is happy with that. I hope the inner parent is too. Now maybe they’ll start co-operating and let me write!


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Self publishing – why?

Girl reading Kindle on a London Street
Photo by tEdits

I’m becoming increasingly committed to the idea of self-publishing my stories.

Not because I have anything against the publishers. I don’t. I know some self-publishers treat the mainstream publishing houses as the enemy. Not me.

I’m seeing many writers I know who’ve been working on their writing for about the same length of time as me (though probably working a lot harder than I have!) getting accepted  at major romance publishers. I love sharing the excitement of their Call Stories and seeing their books on the shelf in shiny pretty covers. At one time, my biggest writing goal was to be published there too.

But it’s unlikely my stories will be accepted by a traditional publisher or a bigger e-publisher. They just don’t fit. Too long, too short, too sweet, too sexy, wrong country, hero not rich enough, pace not fast enough. I don’t naturally write stories that work for any of the publishers’ lines, and when I try the stories are unnatural and stilted. I twist them so much to fit what’s needed, and my writing isn’t authentic. Or even readable, at times,  like my last story I mangled so badly to fit word count!

It would be lovely to get The Call, but I’m not sure keeping on trying will be worth it for me.

On the self-publishing side, there are the huge massively publicised success stories like John Locke (despite the recent controversy, he DID sell a lot of books to a lot of readers who love him – but this in no way condones faking reviews!), Amanda Hocking,  and Fifty Shades.  Plus, in romance, multiple NYT bestseller Bella Andre. There are also many, many poor quality self-published books which are unlikely to sell more than a handful of copies. Some are so bad the writers have trouble getting readers to take a free copy, the blurbs are warning enough (dear God, don’t let my books be in that category!) .

We hear less about the quietly successful self-publishers. The writers who keep steadily writing and releasing books and build up a readership over time. The writers who happily quit their Day Jobs thanks to self-publishing stories that have a reader base, but may not sell enough to attract a print publisher.  These are the voices I want to listen to, and I want to track down.  I’ve read and enjoyed many self-published books. Now I want to find the forums where the successful self-published writers hang out.

We need to each decide what “success” as a writer means for us. Is it a traditional contract? Is it ten five star reviews on Amazon? Is it selling so many thousand books? Is it being able to quit the Day Job? Is it getting emails from readers who loved our story?

If a writer really and truly knows only that traditional contract will do it for her, that’s where her efforts need to focus. But a good story well self-published can potentially achieve all the rest.

I need to earn some income from writing, AND I want as many happy readers as I can. Getting published traditionally is less important to me if I can have those two things. I’m thinking more and more lately that self-publishing may be right for me. Not as a way to get a traditional publishing contract, but as a end in itself.

The thought of being completely responsible for all aspects of the finished product is massively scary but also exhilarating. I’m 99% sure that’s where I’m headed.

I read articles like this report on self- publishing from the Romance Writers of America conference Published Author’s Network keynote speech. I feel like I might have a chance. Then I reality check myself by remembering that over half of self-published authors don’t even make $500 a year from their writing. Actually, the comments section of that Guardian article was more interesting than the article, despite the inevitable descent into arguments between commenters. And it appears the survet may not be that valid, according  to Kristine Kathryn Rusch, though whether that means the average self-published writer earns more or less I’m not sure!

Anyway,  I’m considering (again!) quitting the Day Job. The part time hours aren’t working out, it seems I have the same amount of work to do in half the time, and I’m increasingly unhappy there. The idea of not having any income is scary. But we can manage easily without digging too deep into savings, with a little frugality.  I’m tired. I want a break. I want to be able to focus on writing. My job seems to eat half my brain even when I’m not at work. Life’s too short for this crap.

I also feel I need to spend more time with the mother-in-law. I cope with her better than my husband.

That’s the reason I’ll give my manager, anyway, if I do decide to resign!


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Christmas in July, and writing full-time


Photo from Wikipedia

 This is where my head is right now- Trafalgar Square at Christmas, huge tree, glowing lights, carol singers, and all the trimmings.

Just sneaking a quick break from writing to get in a post.

I have  a July 10 deadline for an Entangled Call for Submissions, so I’m writing writing writing! Loving this story, a Christmas romance. The weather here in the UK is definitely cold enough now even though it’s mid-summer that imagining myself in the middle of a chilly London Christmas hasn’t been too hard. The only time my feet have been out of Ugg boots (fake of course, I’m vegan!) this week is when I’m asleep or when I’m at work.

It’s perfect timing for this to be the first week of my job share at the Day Job to kick in. I’m now a full-time writer, part-time nurse.

I need to get writing and submitting to justify the 50% drop in household income. I also need not to pressure myself too much with expectations that will paralyse me.

Anyway, back to the story. I’m writing way longer than I planned. Editing the story to the required length will be a killer. I’m leaving the first draft rough, typos and all, so I don’t have something that looks pretty already when I start edits. I’m hoping that will help me be more ruthless with the necessary cuts. I’m guessing I’ll need to slice between a third and a quarter off my length.

Which is better than my last submitted story, which I’m going to slice exactly in half when the time comes to edit that!

Hope you all are having a happy and creative day.


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Controlling the Day Job monster

I left home at six thirty am yesterday. I didn’t get home until nearly ten pm. And this was supposed to be a short day at work. Today’s been challenging in a different way. My gut is knotted and my shoulders are so tight I can barely move them, though at least I got off on time.

It’s official, my Day Job is eating my life.

I’m well and truly ready for a change!

I reread a Kara Lennox course I took last year on Quitting the Day Job. I know it’s time. I’ve done everything I need to in preparation for this. I decided against the full quitting routine, instead, I’m halving my work hours and with them my income.

When the job is a smaller part of my life, it will feel very different. Yes, two days a week with the long commute is a big chunk of my time. The job will have me from six thirty am to eight thirty pm, twice a week. Twenty eight hours. But that will be enough to pay all the bills. No financial worries.

And I do get back some time in that. Two and a half hours of the commute will be time I can use while I’m on the train. And one and a half hours is time walking, so that’s good for me too, I don’t need to worry about exercise. Okay, it might not be how I’d choose to spend my time, but it is time I can benefit directly from, time I would need to use to do the same things, walking and emailing, if I was home. So that brings it down to twenty four hours a week.

It’s actually one seventh of my total time, to gain financial security. I can live with that!

What I need to make sure is that I don’t let the job eat into any more of my time. I’ll need to do on call and maybe work extra days now and then. That’s not what I mean. That will be a pain, but an unavoidable part of the job. That will also be the extra money that will pay for the luxuries. The holiday travel once a year to Australia.  A meal out for birthdays. Presents. I may even be able to save a bit.

 I need to make sure not to take the job home with me like I did today. To stop stressing about the job after work. To not let the job affect me in my own time. I need some little ritual where I literally leave it behind at the door.

Right now, even though theoretically I only work forty hours a week plus the commute,  making it up to fifty six hours a week, work actually takes up a far bigger chunk of my life. Not so much in time, though getting breakfasts and lunches ready and sorting out work clothes for the next day does take a chunk of time. The bigger impact is in other ways, the way it can chew me up mentally and emotionally even when I’m not there. Most of my weekend is spent just recovering from the week.

I need strategies to keep my job in it’s place- in the office between set hours!

Two things I can think of to help.

One, don’t carry a mental to-do list away with me. Write down the things I didn’t get done that need to roll over to the next work day. Everything, no matter how small. This need only take five or ten minutes right at the end of the day. I can do it as a ritual every evening when I put my out of office messages on. That’s the practical side of it.

The other big thing is to leave behind the emotional issues, so I’m not dragging worries, guilt, resentment, anger, or upset home with me. This may need something more . My to-do list can be public knowledge, but I definitely do not want my gripe sessions falling into the wrong hands!

Ideal would be to take ten minutes at the end of the day to journal anything that is affecting me. The journal needs to stay at work and be somewhere no-one else could read it.  Nuh-uh. Too risky. I could make some worry dolls or come up with something symbolic like that? A pot I imagine putting my worries in, that magically transmutes them? Writing them down on a sheet of paper and shredding them, right before I walk out the door?

I like that idea.

And if I do find I’ve accidentally taken work stress home, maybe I can journal it straight away, then let it go. I can use my commute home for that if I need to. By the time I get home and take off my work clothes, that’s it. I’ve completely shed anything to do with work.

Then it’s my time. Time to do more of what I want to do, and less of what I have to do.

What I want is for the day job to have the least possible impact on my life. I’ll give them one hundred percent when I’m there, but when I walk out the door I want to be one hundred percent free of it. The deal is- I get just enough money to support our household on, and they get just as much of my time as they’ve bought. 

Sounds good to me!

And I can start today. No need to wait for anything else to happen like dropping back to part time  hours. From today, I’m keeping as much of my time mine as I can. That’s not selfish. That’s being real. Who I am is not my job.

How do you juggle all those competing demands we have- work, family, and creative time?

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